That Drifting Poo Was Far Too Symbolic! These Are the Television Disappointments of the Year.

Looking back, we consider the TV offerings of the recent year, a selection of series stand out not for their excellence, but for their notable failures. Ranging from cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly bad docuseries, here are the productions that had us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

How to start with this love/hate spin-off? Burdened with woeful writing, painful character development (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the final series began, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then arrived an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner declared this would be the last series. It concluded on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was simply too symbolic. Still, fans undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a small sob?

All’s Fair

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was practically the least of this drama's issues. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon no-star review, it was difficult to know where to begin enumerating the flaws. The laughably leaden dialogue? The mind-numbing veneration of wealth and consumption? The almost wilful parade of cliches? Performances so poor they felt borderline malicious? Let’s just say “each and every one” and never speak of this show again. Except, a new season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the legal troubles, domestic violence allegations and parental failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d truly have known it from this multi-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless excess while struggling to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any sympathy this show might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charming but dismissive egotist.

The Iris Affair

Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the get-go: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy figures meeting in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.

Actually, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to accommodate unconvincing accents. But there were many other problems. Mainly that it was just profoundly boring; a dispute over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which felt rather simplistic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Considering the degree to which she provokes the ire of certain ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s almost tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into twee lifestyle as intentional statements. But then you watch them and are compelled to admit that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue come to life; a poster for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark platitudes and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by immense, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are obviously fascinating things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, identity, self-worth. But for some reason, this three-part series opted not to say them. Instead, the viewing was like reading a marketing catalogue. She clearly has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any helps with this cagey letdown of a series.

The Inheritance

It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even camper, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality managing her estate. What more could you ask for? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too complicated to detail what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up smelling of a production that was trying way too hard to live up to something far greater than it.

Too Much

How do you succeed a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of famous friends involved felt icky.

The Sketch Show Return

Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the smart inclusion of gifted younger comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a single joke stretched to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lurching from oddly breezy, slightly stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A complete mess? Very much so.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the star … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a discovery that could ruin society? Nope! This international thriller about secret services targeting – and eliminating – intellectuals honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This uncritical portrait followed the content creator renowned for explicit exploits as she undertook her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was far greater interrogation of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who appeared to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and absolutely no interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.